Monthly Archives: April 2014

See? He’s Her Mallard!

In the Friends episode “The One with the Prom Video,” Phoebe explains that Ross and Rachel are destined to be together because “he’s her lobster.”  While the thought of two lobsters attempting to hold claws while scurrying along the bottom of a fish tank is pretty entertaining, I find new reason to believe in love each spring when I see this couple:

Every year, I see this duck couple walking together all over my neighborhood, and my heart just melts.  They swim together in the bay, waddle along people’s driveways and float in little pools left by crazy rainstorms.  Recently, the labradoodle has noticed them too, and he tries to scare them away.  I calmly explain to him that these ducks are the epitome of everlasting love, and he should not disturb them.  The dog then blankly stares at me and returns to barking at the feathered friends, but hey, you can’t keep a girl from trying to make her dog understand true romance.

First of all, I know that these ducks are probably not the same ducks that I saw last year or the year before, but really, why do I need to know that?  That logic just puts a damper on the little bits of wonder that can be found in the world, and I am totally against that variety of logic.

Secondly, I know that they’re not the only adorable set of animals in the world.  Trust me, I’ve seen the otters:

Despite all this, I applaud these ducks for sticking together all these years, even though I’m sure that the female checks out the swan every once in a while and the male grabs more of the trash that the kids leave at Miami Beach.


Thanks for the Odd Compliment!

Everyone who doesn’t have some sort of a self-esteem issue enjoys getting compliments, right?  But after awhile, hearing “You’re smart” or “You’re funny” just seems uncreative.  Believe me, if I’m told those things, I SERIOUSLY appreciate it, but if someone can think of something a little more specific or bizarre to say, then that person has made my list of People That Are Awesome.

Enter the best complimenter (is that a word?) of all time: the genius who runs the tumblr Daily Odd Compliment!

I’m not entirely sure how I came across this delightful tumblr account, but anytime I’m feeling a little out of sorts, it is just the right thing to pick up my spirits.  Even if I’m having the best day ever, this guy’s compliments turn the day up to 11.

Here are a few examples, taken from

I sent this one to one of my best friends the other day–

This is how everyone should feel in a relationship–

Best pick up line ever–

And then, this is just how my mind works–
Are you all imagining a squirrel eating spaghetti with a tiny fork now?  You’re welcome.


A Doodle a Day

When you’re feeling sad or really stressed out, everyone likes to throw in his or her two cents about what will fix your mood:

“Cup of tea?”
“No, not right now.”
“There’s ice cream in the freezer!”
“No, then I’ll just feel pudgy and sad.”
These are just for you everyday, run of the mill sad and stressful times.  Nothing beats when you’re at the animal hospital.  There’s no amount of tea or ice cream that will help when you’re worried about your sick pet.  I should know–in the past few years, I’ve had to worriedly sit in that waiting room, anticipating news about my cats and dogs who have had asthma, lyme disease, urinary tract blockages and hypertrophic osteodystrophy (seriously, look up that last one–it’ll blow your mind).
Even though my animals (knock on wood) are healthy right now, I still find myself in this waiting room a couple of times a week, as I pick up my dog from the hospital’s Doggie Daycare.  As I wait for the vet tech to bring out my dog, I try to give reassuring smiles to the others who are sitting in the waiting room, and I try not to get choked up as I think about their sad situations.
And then something magical happens.  This guy:
This is Linus, my 9 month old labradoodledoo.  Yes, that extra “doo” is important because it means that Linus has extra poodle in him that makes him so unbelievably curly!  
When Linus comes barreling out from the back of the animal hospital, EVERYONE in the waiting room looks up.  He’s such a force of joy–curls flopping, too-long legs slipping out from under him on the slick floor and his tongue hanging out of his mouth!  I sometimes peek out of the corner of my eye, and even the most worried of pet owners is wearing a small smile.  
I always get asked, “What is he?”  Usually I answer truthfully but then add on, “But he’s mostly a Muppet.”  And then people laugh because it’s such an accurate description.
So, here’s my recommendation:  if you’re sad or stressed, find your nearest labradoodle (labradoodledoos will do a better job though).  Sink your fingers into those curls and let the dog cover your face with kisses!  You’ll thank me later.

You Can Bank On This!

Sorry, folks, I meant to post this last night, but I got caught up in a Modern Family marathon and forgot (which reminds me that I will have to post about Modern Family in the future).

Sooooooooo yesterday was April 15th–Tax Day (dun-dun-dun).  It made me think of my first official job in high school.  I was an assistant pharmacy tech/cashier at an independently owned pharmacy.  The job in itself wasn’t all that interesting, but the way that I saved my money was quite comical.  Have you ever heard of the phrase “socking it away”?  Well, I literally did that.  In lieu of a bank account, I stored my cash in a sock!

As clever as that was, I probably should have used a real banking institution or at the very least a piggy bank.  Although, the piggy banks of today are nothing like the ones of my youth, and HERE is the thing I like today–creative banks!

First of all, who’s to say that a piggy bank must be a pig?  Can’t it (sort of) be a moose?

(courtesy of
And just because a piggy bank saves your money during the day doesn’t mean that it can’t save the world while you’re asleep.
(courtesy of
When I was a little kid, I was obsessed with old-timey mechanical banks and really really wanted one.  They’re ridiculously impractical and almost never work right the first time, but seeing that they’re still available makes my heart glad.
(courtesy of
And then the most creative “Banks” of all:

Buttermilk! (No, Not the Liquid)

It’s Monday.  Not only is it Monday, but it’s the beginning of what is destined to be a very busy week, and tomorrow our delightfully warm weather will disappear for at least several days 🙁  But these are all things that I don’t like, so I’m going to tell you about someone I do like: Buttermilk.

About a year ago, during a week very similar to this one, a good friend of mine asked if I had seen the “jumping goat.”  I was mildly intrigued, as I think goats are cute and jumping animals are often amusing, but I was pretty stressed out and didn’t think that a jumping goat would be enough to brighten my mood.

I was wrong.  Enjoy.  And don’t be ashamed if you find yourself watching this several times and if you laugh just as hard each time!

(courtesy of YouTube)

Caramel Mochas, or Don’t Let The Man Tell You What to Order

Have you heard of the flavor “salted caramel”?  Of course you have.  Everything comes in a salted caramel variety now–ice cream, coffee creamers, and I’m pretty sure salted caramel hot dogs are right around the corner.  Building on this, Starbucks introduced the Salted Caramel Mocha.  They are incredibly delicious, and I happily went along with the salt caramel fad if it meant indulging in this yummy drink.

(courtesy of Rose Vignettes)

Until one fateful day, when I went into Starbucks and ordered the beloved Salted Caramel Mocha, only to hear the barista utter the words, “Umm, we can make it for you, but we don’t have the salt.”  What?!  What the heck is a Salted Caramel Mocha without the frickin salt?!
Turns out–it’s just as delicious.  And so the Caramel Mocha was born!  It still has the delicious caramel syrup added and caramel sauce drizzled over the whipped cream.  Some people claim that they order these all the time, but I still like to believe that this drink was created due to my flexibility in going without the salt.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Seriously, Lauren, you’re writing a whole post about a drink?”  But that’s not the true meaning of this post.  It is meant to empower you to order what you’d like at Starbucks.  The baristas there are ridiculously accommodating when it comes to fixing specialty drinks (even though my brother has told me that no one’s Starbucks order should be more than 3 words long). Get creative–life is too short to order a black coffee.
And if you have a favorite drink at Starbucks, please tell me about it!

Lip-Synching–It’s Not Just for Britney Anymore

I believe that everyone in this world has a talent, but not everyone’s talent can be singing.  Because of this, some incredible genius thought of the idea of lip-synching, where you can pretend you’re singing along with a song with as much passion and charisma as possible, but no one around you has to suffer from your less-than-dulcet tones.

While people lip-sync everyday, there are those that turn it into an all out production.  I experienced my all-time personal favorite of these when I was about eight years old and was watching television with my grandfather.  In the “Happy Anniversary” episode in season 2 of The Cosby Show, the Huxtables serenade Cliff’s parents through the magic of lip-synching:

Lip-synching isn’t only for the tone-deaf.  Jimmy Fallon, who has a rather nice voice, throws down in Lip-synch Battles with his celebrity guests from time to time, including once with John Krasinski (go ahead and imagine that John Krasinski is singing Boyz II Men directly to you):

Click here to watch! (courtesy of Perez Hilton TV)

So if you’re not the best singer or you’re just nervous about your voice cracking in front of a crowd, go ahead and lip-sync.  If Jimmy Fallon wouldn’t judge you, then neither would I.


Oh, What a Guy! That Gaston!

Thursday night, my boyfriend and I went to see his cousin in her high school’s production of Beauty and the Beast.  The students did a great job with the show, but the best part of the night (other than the little girl in front of us wearing a Belle costume) was the performance of the student playing Gaston.  Not only was the kid really talented, but it just reminded me of how incredible a character Gaston is.

For years, Disney has done an excellent job of making the villains of their stories equally as entertaining as the heroes and heroines.  In Aladdin, Jafar’s sarcastic wit makes him a devilish favorite, and don’t even get me started on James Woods as Hades in Disney’s Hercules (I could write an entire blog post just on him!).  The intrigue of the Disney villain is apparent in one of this year’s most anticipated films, Maleficent starring Angelina Jolie as Sleeping Beauty’s nemesis.

But Gaston is in a class by himself.  For those of you who may not know Disney’s Beauty and the Beast plot, the story is about a beautiful but bookish girl named Belle, who is sought after by the hilariously vain Gaston.  Belle is not at all interested and [SPOILER ALERT] goes on to meet the Beast, fall in love with the hairy creature and watches Gaston fall to his death at the end of the film.

The strangely lovable part of Gaston isn’t his undeniable good looks but instead his pride in aspects of himself that aren’t typically brag-worthy attributes.  In the song “Gaston,” the title character’s best friend LeFou lists some of Gaston’s best qualities:

  • He has an incredibly thick neck
  • He’s an accurate spitter
  • His go-to wrestling move is biting
  • He decorates with antlers
  • He eats 5 dozen eggs a day
  • His entire body covered with an exorbitant amount of hair
Sure, he doesn’t like books without pictures and he is against women having their own thoughts, but come on, who could resist a guy who only decorates with antlers?

Zach Braff and Donald Faison: Best Friends Forever

Recently, the pop culture world let out a joyous SQUEEE at the news of Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis’s pregnancy. But the Kelso/Jackie hybrid wasn’t the most adorable part of that story–it was what followed next: Ashton asking Danny Masterson (his That 70’s Show costar) to arrange play dates for their kids.

I love the thought of friends on a TV show being friends in real life. Whenever I see Courtney Cox and Jennifer Anniston hanging out, an “awwww” always escapes my lips. 
But no one, I mean, no one does onscreen-offscreen best friendship like Zach Braff and Donald Faison!
Their chemistry as Dr. John Dorian (Braff) and Dr. Christopher Turk (Faison) on Scrubs is amazing. When the show was originally running, I thought, “They have to be friends in real life.” And I was right. One of the main reasons that I follow them on Twitter is to see their hilariously loving comments to each other.
A few years ago, Vanilla and Chocolate Bears did a California-ultra cool version of “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”

Braff was in Faison’s wedding and congratulated him on his new “mocha cub” when Faison and wife Cacee Cobb had a baby.

And when it’s one of their birthdays, watch out…

Faison can’t even do an AMA on Reddit without Braff chiming in.
So here’s to the bestest tv friends in the whole world! At least for now…I still have high hopes that all of the How I Met Your Mother cast hangs out on the weekend to play Apples to Apples.

Oh hey! This is why I’m blogging!

In season seven of the hit NBC television show The Office, the uber-hipster Ryan Howard declares that “Blogs are out.” Despite this fictional character’s opinion, I decided to start a blog in order to spread positivity into the world, one post at a time.

Sure, I could write for days about things I don’t like. The phrase “Where you at?” makes my skin crawl, and don’t even get me started on the Tori season of Saved by the Bell. But why spend day after day complaining when I could talk about great things in the world? My hope is that reading this blog will make you chuckle, feel that warm, nostalgic glow, or even just prick up the corners of your mouth in a teensy-weensy smile. 
Sound good? Alright, then here we go!