It’s that time again, folks! And in a reference to the scariest character on the show:
Because of the incredibly disgusting snack that Bronn and Jamie Lannister chowed down on, this week our acrostic will be SNAKES.
S is Snake Sisters
Incredible handsome Oberyn (whose head was smashed in a battle last season) has 3 daughters, none of whom are too pleased with the way the Lannisters did in their father. Since the majority of the Lannisters are across the sea, the rather frightening girls are going to deal with the Lannister on hand: Marcella. Yup, Blondie is going to be in for a world of hurt if her dad (uncle?) doesn’t get to her in time.
N is for No Lovin’ for Tommen
Remember last week when the world got more than a little grossed out at the thought of Tommen being some kind of serious lover? Well, apparently he still wants some of that good lovin’, but Margery isn’t going to give it to him unless he can get her brother out of lock-up. So he runs to Mommy and tells her to let out Ser Loras. She feigns surprise and says that she didn’t have him arrested and he would have to see the High Sparrow. Welp, the High Sparrow was praying and couldn’t be disturbed and Tommen didn’t want bloodshed, so he told Margery that she would have to wait. Which means he has to wait (womp womp).
A is for Artificial Hand FTW
Well, it seems as though Jaime Lannister doesn’t need a hand (sorry, inappropriate joke) when it comes to swordfighting. The man once known as the Kingslayer had been out of commission since losing his hand, but this week, he realized that his artificial hand also works as a vice of sorts, allowing him to trap his opponent’s sword, rendering the man defenseless so that Jaime could stab him with his own sword. Sure, the opponent’s sword was temporarily stuck in his artificial hand, but the point is that the former Kingslayer is overcoming his handicap quite well.
K is for Kidnapping Gone Wrong
Oh Jorah Mormont, did you forget to ask your prisoner where he was headed before kidnapping him? Because seriously, it takes all the fun out of a kidnapping if you’re taking Tyrion to the place he was originally headed for.
E is for Evil Enchantress
I think we all knew that once Melisandre asked Jon Snow if he was a virgin that it would only be a matter of time before she’d be getting naked in front of him in order to keep Stannis happy. It turns out that Jon Snow has enough willpower to turn away the Mistress of Darkness in order to stay true to his vows and to Ygritte’s memory. It was all well and good until a spurned Melisandre turned around and muttered Ygritte’s famous words, “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” Spooky…
S is for So Long, Selmy
As if the Khaleesi didn’t have enough blood on her hands, she basically sent Barristan Selmy to his death. Selmy offered to accompany Daenerys to the throne room for a meeting, but drop dead gorgeous Daario said, “Nah, I’ve got it.” Because of this, Selmy found himself walking past a battle between the Unsullied and the Gold Faces. Seeing Grey Worm in trouble, Selmy stepped in and did a fair bit of damage. That is, until he was fatally stabbed, despite Grey Worm’s best efforts (also, we don’t know if Grey Worm made it).
Your thoughts on this week’s episode?